Bellas' Will
by TtSandsie
Summary: Bella finds herself in yet another hairy situation. One Unfaithful night with Jacob Black postpones Edwards decision to change her. Will he ever? Does time treat her kind?    I do not own any of the Twilight characters portrayed in my story   LEMONS!
1. Chapter 1

_**Prologue**_

___**Dear Diary**_

_**In the early morning mists, the dawn is breaking. I sit overlooking the ocean. Reflecting on my life. The stillness of the water is opposite my dreams. My mind, bustling with the thoughts of how different my life has been. How differently it could have gone. The pier on which I sit is mine, attached to the home I share with my husband, Edward. A life that is seemingly comfortable to those whom haven't experienced it. Our home sits on the boundaries, the line between the reservation and the Cullens land. My pier sits on the beaches of La Push, for reasons my heart can't explain, I chose to build it here.. I could not forget how I left Jacob behind in those mists. He haunted me in my sleep. Edward made the agreement to build me a home where I could have the best of both sides of my heart. The side of my heart that beats for Edward and the side of my heart that pounds with Jacobs'. I had to have him in my life. **_

_** I love Edward. The ceremony was the most beautiful. I in my white gown, Edward in his tux. Surrounded by our family and friends. I swore that day to love him forever, until death do we part. Only **_**I**_** would know this fate. He was suppossed to change me. That was the plan. The events that occurred during our lives together postponed our plan for eternity. The years seemed to fly by without any realization, that once I began to wrinkle, time was about to run out. Although I took the vow to love Edward until my dying day, Jacob never left me. There were a few years, after our wedding, that I didnt see Jacob. I began to feel that a part of me was missing. I told Edward my heart was his, yet I still felt incomplete. Thats how the plan to build a home came into play. I had only thought the day I married Edward was the happiest day of my life. Then we moved. The seven years I had spent without Jacob had taken its toll on me. The day I saw his face in the trees behind our home, gazing into mine through the kitchen window. I knew this wasnt going to be as easy as I thought. The only way I can think to share with you an accurate occurance of events is to tell you like its a story. Most stories begin with, "Once upon a time," but I will start with, " Once Upon a New Moon"...**_

_** Bella**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Prologue**_

_**Dear Diary**_

_**In the early morning mists, the dawn is breaking. I sit overlooking the ocean. Reflecting on my life. The stillness of the water is opposite my dreams. My mind, bustling with the thoughts of how different my life has been. How differently it could have gone. The pier on which I sit is mine, attached to the home I share with my husband, Edward. A life that is seemingly comfortable to those whom haven't experienced it. Our home sits on the boundaries, the line between the reservation and the Cullens land. My pier sits on the beaches of La Push, for reasons my heart can't explain, I chose to build it here.. I could not forget how I left Jacob behind in those mists. He haunted me in my sleep. Edward made the agreement to build me a home where I could have the best of both sides of my heart. The side of my heart that beats for Edward and the side of my heart that pounds with Jacobs'. I had to have him in my life. **_

_** I love Edward. The ceremony was the most beautiful. I in my white gown, Edward in his tux. Surrounded by our family and friends. I swore that day to love him forever, until death do we part. Only **_**I**_** would know this fate. He was suppossed to change me. That was the plan. The events that occurred during our lives together postponed our plan for eternity. The years seemed to fly by without any realization, that once I began to wrinkle, time was about to run out. Although I took the vow to love Edward until my dying day, Jacob never left me. There were a few years, after our wedding, that I didnt see Jacob. I began to feel that a part of me was missing. I told Edward my heart was his, yet I still felt incomplete. Thats how the plan to build a home came into play. I had only thought the day I married Edward was the happiest day of my life. Then we moved. The seven years I had spent without Jacob had taken its toll on me. The day I saw his face in the trees behind our home, gazing into mine through the kitchen window. I knew this wasnt going to be as easy as I thought. The only way I can think to share with you an accurate occurance of events is to tell you like its a story. Most stories begin with, "Once upon a time," but I will start with, " Once Upon a New Moon"...**_

_** Bella**_

** Chapter 1**

_**Adoette Whispers**_

**The morning Edward and I settled into our new home, all seemed right in the world. The sun shown through the majestic pines as if spotlights were being cast on the woodland floor. The cool shadows cast onto our porch gave a slight chill to our plantation style home . A two-story home with four great marble pillars holding up our balcony. This balcony is where I would sit and write about Edward in my diary. Our porch was the length of our home with steps at the end, leading down a small hill onto the pier where I spent time when I needed a break from Edwards watchful eye. The pier is where i write about Jacob. This particular morning Life as I knew it would change. I woke up embraced in Edwards arms. Greeted by a cool kiss on my cheek. I could feel his love for me in his lips. I shiver in response.**

** "Mmm, I love you..." I said returning with a playful kiss.**

** "Come here Bella." he said grabbing me by the hand pulling me to him. I looked up into his onyx eyes as he kissed my head. "Its cloudy this morning , I need to hunt."**

** "Alright, be safe." In that moment he was gone. I walked sleepily down the stairs into the kitchen to prepare my coffee and a blueberry toaster strudel. I watched my dog, Stanley, a chinese crested, scamper across the yard for his ball. Why I got that ugly dog in the first place... it reminded me of my old friend Jessica from high school. So i just had to have him. While Edward was out I took it upon myself to explore the property, since he rarely let me venture to far from his side. I decided I would go down to the end of the pier to sit for awhile. I sat there for what seemed like forever watching the clouds move swiftly across the sky, as the rain started to pour, I didnt want to move.**

** "Bella!" I heard someone yelling to me from the land. It was Edward. "You know I cant come down there! Get back up here, you'll catch your death sitting on that pier!"**

**I rose to my feet and hurried to him. He threw his coat over my shoulders and wrapped me tightly to help me get warm.**

** "Its just a little rain." I told him as we walked back to the house. He kissed my dripping hair and escorted me to the door.**

**"I just get worried. I wouldnt know what I'd do if anything were to happen to you. Even just a cold."**

** "Edward, I'm fine." He ran me a warm bath and brought the dog in while I was getting dressed. When I came down the stairs, he was waiting with my coffee . He takes great care of me. I cant hold it against him for wanting me well. Although sometimes he can seem to be more of a father than a husband. I just want him to be happy. **

** "Ya know what? Lets not go get groceries today." **

** "Okay" he replies, hands in pockets. "What would you rather do?"**

** "I think we should just hangout around the house. I still have boxes to unpack and I'm sure something needs to be cleaned."**

** "Whatever makes you happy Bella." He always says that. **

**" I'm not getting any younger and this house wont clean itself."**

** " Again you bring up age? You look great as you are, I dont want to rush into anything."**

**I sigh and go on with my wifely duties as always. I dont want another fight about why he hasnt changed me. " It would be easier for us to be together forever, like you said, if you just change me thats all." I turn and walk into the kitchen before he can say another word. Hours would pass before I saw him again. I suppose he's somewhere reading, or brooding. I prepare my self a snack and sit at the table by the bay window to enjoy some me time. As I looked out the window I thought I saw someone in the woods peering at our house. I was a little aprehensive, but paid it no mind.**

** The next afternoon I had convinced Edward that I would be fine sitting on the pier reading my book. I have a thing for THe Vampire Diaries. He always says "Vampires are nothing like that in real life Bella."**

**I usually just roll my eyes and continue with my reading. It was so nice to have some me time with no one leering over my shoulder. As I was reading I heard something moving in the trees beside me. I jumped a little because it startled me. "Hello?" I called out, but no answer. Determined to know what was lurking around my home, I got up and walked toward the noise.**

** "Its only me."**

** Hearing a familiar voice, my heart nearly lept out of my chest as I saw Jacob standing in front of me. Slightly older now but still looking as though his velvetine russet skin was tailored perfectly to his body. The sun glistened off the sweat on his emaculate chest. He was taller than I remember. I didnt know what to do. I didnt know exactly what to say.**

** " ..."**

**"Hi would be nice. How are you maybe. Thats normally what people say, right?"**

**"Yeah, I was just kidding." We laugh," How have you been Jacob?" My whole body was in shock. I hadnt seen him in seven years. What could I say? I was the one who had left him all those years ago. I'm sure he was upset with me. I treated him so badly. I felt horrible. **

** "Bella!" I heard Edward call out my name. I turned toward him and waved my hand to show him where I was, and there was no need for alarm. "What are you doing?"**

** "I was just.." I turned back toward Jacob and he was gone. My heart sank. I wasnt ready for him to go. " I'm just going to get my book of the pier, I'll be right there!"**

** "Okay," he said. " but hurry up! its starting to rain."**

** I walked slowly back toward the house turning every few steps to see if Jacob was still watching. Hoping to catch a glimspe of him. The pier faded behind me and once again I was in Edwards arms. **

** " I made you dinner." He had my favorite meal spread out on the table. Candles flickered in the dim room. The flames danced on the walls and off the crystal glasses illuminating the areas surrounding the table.**

**" Thanks. It looks nice." He pulled out my chair and poured me a glass of wine.**

** " Its lasagna, your favorite." We giggled for a moment as I began to eat. **

** " Bella, when are we going to try to start our family again?" he asked. **

** We had tried to start a family once before but I guess a higher power thought that it wasnt the right time. **

** " I don't know. We just have to keep trying until we get it right." I shoot him a wink to break the tension. He seems to get nervous when we start talking about family. He moves from his chair and walks behind me. He blew out one of the candles and said.**

** " Your right.'**

** He takes me by the hand and lifts me from my seat. His lips meet mine in a tender kiss. My mind flashes for a moment to Jacob. How I felt seeing him again. He must think I'm an idiot if all I can say is, "..." Edward lifts me from the floor and sits me on the table. His hands are entangled in my hair slightly tugging as he kisses my neck. He knows I cant resist. We begin to kiss more passionately. I can feel the heat rising inside of me. He moves his hands along my body exploring his options. As if he's going to make me guess where he's going next. **

** "Edward," I whisper as he slowly reaches inside my jeans. The coolness of his fingertips makes my warm clit tingle with ecstacy. I can feel him all over me. little sparks of pleasure cascade througout my entire body. He can't take much more. He hurridly rips my jeans from my body.**

** "Shit! Sorry. I didnt mean to.."**

**"Its okay, please dont stop." Now my moist warmth is exposed and I feel the tip of his cock teasing me. I want him. " I want feel you inside of me." I whisper **

** " BIte me." He says stearnly. I bite into his neck as though it was the answer to everlasting life. He thrusts into me. I Cant help but cry out when I feel him sliding in and out. I have never felt anything as exhilarating and horrifying in all my life. He never lets me down when it comes to making love. He grabs my hips and we move in motion together, thrusting into each other. I can hear him moaning almost wheeping, I feel so good to him. I expect him to sink his teeth into me. I start to quiver as I feel the pressure rising in my loins. I call his name, 'Edward" He thrusts into me once more and I feel his body callapse onto mine. He carries me up the stairs to our room, as we lay down in our bed. Once again in his embrace, I sleep.**

**The next morning I went to my doctors appointment. I didnt use Carlisle this time. I didnt want Edward getting any news before I did. They done some blood work and told me they would call me. I hope I get some good news back. **

** I was playing with Stanley in the back yard, he begin to growl. Low like he was ready to attack. It startled me and I look up to see and it was Jacob. He was standing in the trees waving. I ran to him.**

** "Your starting to creep me out Jacob." i told him**

**"I just want to make sure your okay, Where's Edward?"**

** "Hunting." I didnt mean to but I was undressing Jacob with my eyes.**

**"Come with me." he says. " I want to take you somehwere." Against my better judgement I abliged. So I hopped onto his back. He doesnt have to phase to carry me. He's so strong. I can feel the muscles in his back flexing against my legs while we're walking through the forrest.**

** " Where have you been?" I asked. "I havent seen you in awhile."**

**"I've been taking care of some things nosey rosey." he laughs at himself again. I roll my eyes. He thinks he's witty. " Did you miss me?"**

** I tell him honestly," I did. I kept looking for you, but you never showed."**

** " How does it feel? How does it feel just to think you've been left behind?"**

**"What? Where is this coming from?" He drops me to the ground.**

** "Bella, I've been trying to stay away. I have. I just cant, your all I think about. I have to be around you. I have to be with you."**

** "Jacob."**

**"Bella, let me finish. I cant stop thinking about you! Dont you get it? I still love you. I love you more than anything. I want to be with you,, I want to take care of you. I want you."**

** I cant bare to hear him confessing to me his love and I kiss him to make him hush. I had only planned on a small kiss to make him be quiet but once I started I couldnt stop. He didnt try to stop me either. The rain began to fall.**

**" Jacob, the rain."**

** "I dont care about the rain. I want you wet." He kisses me harder and picks me up. I wrap my legs around his waist. I know that I should have stopped him, but I didnt want to stop. I wanted him so much. I wanted to feel him all over me, inside and outside of me. For a moment he stops what he is doing looks deep in to my eyes, both of us are already disrobed.**

** 'Is this what you really want?" he asks.**

** I dont say anything. I wrapped my legs around him and push him inside of me. As he was sliding into me, the heat coming off him was so intense. He was so hot. The touch of his hands, were like he was holding fire to my skin. I didnt care. He kissed me so passionately, I wanted to take him all in. He seemed to be just what I needed. He pentrated me as though the world was about to end. As though we would never see each other again. I began to cry, I couldnt stop him. I couldnt let him go. I wanted this, I had been waiting on this. He came into me faster. His body against me was so hot I could hardly stand it. He feels so good. I couldnt do anything in return, I was paralized in his arms. I couldnt move, he had complete control. I begin to shake violently. I felt like my head was going to explode. His body temprature kept rising, he was so hot, It felt like my whole body was on fire now. We were about to burst into flames. I couldnt make a sound. I could hardly breath. He was relentless in his attempt to make me feel physically how he felt in his heart. I felt the love he had for me in his motions. I dug my nails into his back. He stood there, holding me onto his cock. The rain was cold enough that I didnt mind how hot he was getting. I felt him deep inside of me. Thrusting into me, I screamed his name into the trees. I couldnt hold it back. The pressure was building inside of me. There was no way to stop it. Faster he penetrated . He could feel I was about to realease. He howled into the sky as I cried out. He fell to his knees with me still attached to him. We looked deep into each others eyes for what seemed like a lifetime. The world around us seemed disappear. He was the only thing I could see. The cold rain brought me to myself and I realized, he came inside of me.**

** " I have to go Jacob. I'm sorry."**

**"Bella wait please, dont leave me now," he begged.**

** " I have to go!" I yelled at him. I didnt mean to. I quickly put my clothes back on and left him standing there. Naked in the rain. I looked back to him. He was steaming from the cold rain pouring on his molten skin. It reminded me of when I had left him in those mists all those years ago.**

** "I'll call you tomorrow!" I promised him. **

**He just stood there. STaring in my direction like he had witnessed someone being hit by a car. I felt so terrible, but I had to think of what I would tell Edward about me being gone so long. When I got back to the house Edward wasnt home. I ran upstairs as fast as I could and jumped in the shower. I dont know what came over me. I dropped to my knees and began crying. Silent sobs. I was crying so hard there were no tears. I made love with Jacob. It wasnt something that just happened. I felt loved while he was inside of me. What was I going to do now?**

**Dear Diary, **

** Several weeks have gone by and still no sign of Jacob. It feels like an eternity. I wanted to see him so bad. I kept looking for him in the trees, on the beaches and in town. I had to be careful so that Edward wouldnt notice my wandering eye. I would sit for hours on the pier with Stanley, gazing out into the distance. The sunsets from La Push were the most beautiful I had ever seen. It was there I could write about Jacob.I bought a diary especially for my thoughts on him. I kept it in a lock box and buried in the sands. I couldnt risk Edward finding it. If he had, I wouldnt be able to explain myself. Then I would have no one. I would be the one left behind in the mists. I couldnt handle the thought of that. I wish I could tell Edward how I feel right now. I want to be honest with him and I feel so guilty for wanting someone that isnt my husband. I have joined him in the bonds of matrimony, to sleep with Jacob could be forgiven. To fall in love with Jacob would be the ultimate betrayal. Dreams of Jacob taunt me at night. He is constatnly on my mind. The only time I dont think of him is when Edward is inside of me. So far its just thoughts. What ifs that run through my mind. What if I did fall in love with Jacob? I could, so easily. I feel comfortable with him, he feels so natural to me. why do I do this to myself? why did I have to convince Edward to come back here? Jacob has always been in the back of my mind. Having his on special place in my heart. Someone will be hurt. **

** I havent been feeling well the past couple a weeks. All this stress about Jacob is making me tired. The stress is making me physically sick. Edward is getting worried. He says he can tell that something is wrong. I cant tell him its because I constantly think of Jacob. I cant tell him I want to run to his house and let him hold me in his arms. When I dont feel well I want Jacob around. It seems like he keeps me calm. I feel everything will be okay when he is around. Being with Jacob feels like being home. Being with Edward, is knowing that I am loved unconditionally. He loves me so much. I've made an appointment with the doctor. I havent told Edward but theres a possibility that we may be pregnant. I want to be sure diary. I dont want to get his hopes up just to dissappoint him again. It seems like all I do is dissappoint but he loves me anyways in the end. I think I'm going to take a walk. Be back later.**

** Bella**

_**Hungry like the Wolf**_

** I woke up at noon the next day, to find a note that read: **

_**Bella,**_

_** I have gone hunting with Jasper. I love you.**_

_** Edward**_

**I go to take a shower and get ready for my day. I have to go get groceries I can't live off tomato paste alone. As I walk from the front door to the car I hear that same familiar voice.**

** "Hey!"**

**" Hi Jacob. How are you?"**

** "Thats much better Bella" he laughs at himself for being clever. Men. **

**" I'm on my way to get groceries."**

** " He's letting you out?" **

** " He's gone hunting with Jasper, he'll be gone for a while so, yea. I guess you could say I'm free."**

** "Want some company?" He asks.**

**" Ummm," I know that by saying yes I'll be putting my sanity at jeopardy, but I say yes anyways. I don't say much as we drive down the winding roads.**

** "Well." He says." Not everyone talk at once."**

**" I'm sorry Jacob. I'm just surprised that you even wanted to see me. I was so terrible to you."**

** " Bella, that was a long time ago.'**

**" I know its been a while, and I know how you felt about me. I just left you, I'm so sorry. I've thought about you.."**

**" Bella, stop." He interupts, " There's no need to bring up the past. We can just start over. Its that simple. Forgiven and forgotten."**

** " Deal.' I replied with a nod.**

**On our way back to the house. I see that a new generation of the pack jumping from the cliffs. I pulled over to the side of the road to watch as I had done so many years before. I got out of the car and walked across the street to the ledge to get a closer look. Jacob close behind.**

** " It seems like forever since I've been here." I say.**

**" It feels like forever for me too. I've missed you.'**

** " Well I'm here now. Isnt that worth a little something? It can be just like the old days."**

** " No Bella it cant. We're adults now. We can't play anymore we have responsibilities." **

** " WE can still play!" I swat him on the arm, " don't be a douche.'**

**" Oh yea," he chuckles," like what? whoever has the most gray hair wins? Thats not a game Bella thats life. I've also noticed you havent been changed into a bloodsucker yet.'**

** " Hey now... One of those bloodsuckers just happens to be my husband."**

**" Dont!" he throws his hands in the air and places them on his hips." remind me. How old are you now anyways like fifty?"**

**"No! Dont be an ass... I'll only be thirty on my birthday!" We laugh and make our way back to the car.**

** " Edwards home. I can smell him. Stop the car and let me out."**

**" Jacob dont be rediculous let me take you home."**

** " Bella, I got this. I'm a wolf. I know my way home."**

** Jacob gets out of the car. I cant help but watch how he moves as he dissappears into the forrest. I take a deep sigh of relief that I was able to control how excited I was to see him. To be honest I was a bit turned on by his demeanor. His nonchalant attitude about how I treated him in the past. He is simply a man. He wants, needs. He breathes. He lives.**

** It isnt long before I arrive home to see Edward and Jasper sitting on the porch. I pull into the drive and get out of the car. I open the trunk to collect my purchases. Jasper rushes over to help me while Edward goes inside to clear me a space on the counter.**

** " Shew! I'm sorry Bella but honey you stink. I see Jacob didnt waste any time getting back in touch."**

** "Jasper." I put up my hands up as if to surrender." there was no touching."**

** " Oh I believe you, but what will you tell Edward?"**

**" The truth." I say. " He helped me with the groceries. That's all."**

** Once we were back inside. Edward scrunched his nose in disgust.**

**" I know.." I say as I start to put things away.**

** " I'll put up the groceries love, you go take a shower."**

**"Seriously?"**

** "Yes, seriously." said Jasper.**

** I start shedding clothes as I was going up the stairs. By the time I get to our bedroom I am completely naked. I start the shower, reaching in every so often to make sure the temprature is just right. I climb inside, letting the water run over my head. I cant help but think about JAcob. He seems to be the only thing I can think about while I'm washing his smell off . Although so wrong and I felt guilty, I couldnt help but imagine that he were in the shower with me. Towering over me. Hardly any room to move around without our bodies touching slightly. I could see the water trickling down his perfectly chistled abs. The steam surrounding his body. I pictured this in my mind. He was so hot. So warm to touch. I couldnt help but touch my stomach pretending that it was him. I felt him with me. Touching me. His length rubbing against my back. His chest behind me to lean on while he was running his hands up and down my body. I felt myself getting anxious and wanting him to touch my body in ways he had only dreamt about. The warm water ran down my body onto my feet. My hands wandered down to my soft folds and I started rubbing my own clit. I was so wet for him and he wasnt even there. **

** "What are you doing?" I heard Edward Yell through the bathroom door. I nearly jumped out of my skin. My heart was racing.**

**" Nothing! I'm washing my hair!"**

** "Alright, Just making sure you were alright. You been in there a while."**

**" No baby, I'm okay. Did Jasper leave?"**

** "Yep! He's gone. Its just the two of we can have some alone time."**

**I thought to myself," we always have alone time." Everyone has their own lives now and there is little time to keep poor Bella company. So once again,although I was thinking about Jacob while I took a shower. Once Edward had me in his clutches, I couldnt resist him. He intoxicates me. After we christen every room in our new home. I finally get to relax and just like every night since we met. I sleep while in his arms.**

** Chapter 3**

_**Unexpected expectantcies**_

** A few weeks after our rondevous, I saw Jacob in town while I was picking up some flowers for our dining room table. Edward loved to look at the fresh live arrangements of fresia and lavender.**

** " You didnt call." Jacob said.**

**" I dont have time to talk about this right now. I have to get back home."**

** " Just stop for one minute and talk to me without worrying if Edward is going to find out. Telling him we spoke will be alot easier than explaining what happened the other day."**

** "Shhh, somebody might hear you. Look Jake it was..."**

**" Amazing." he said," The best you ever had? The worst? What? What was it? It was passion, we made love Bella. You cant deny that. You felt it to."**

** "Jacob! Your right. I felt it and it scares me. I have somewhere I have to be. Im leaving." I walked away quickly praying he didnt follow me. He didnt. I had to be at the doctor in an hour for more blood work. I didnt have much time now to get there. I drove to the next town as fast as I could. JAcob was right we did make love. He was also right about me not being able to deny it. I didnt know what to do. I didnt have the heart to tell Edward, I could live with the guilt of what had happened, but it tears me apart inside to look in Edwards eyes knowing what I did.**

** "Ms. Cullen you appear to be pregnant." My heart begin to pound. I felt like it was about to burst through my chest.**

** "E-excuse me?" I had to hear it again to be sure.**

**'Your going to have a baby. Your new blood work shows that your with child."**

** "New blood work shows?" I asked. This means that the bloodwork before indicated that I wasnt. **

** "Yes ma'am. Everything else is fine. If you've been going through any stress, sometimes that can cause fatigue, change in menestration. Unlike this time in which you are pregnant."**

** I start to cry. I knew this baby wasnt Edwards. I had to tell him now. I had to tell Jacob.**

** " What am I suppossed to do now?" I asked.**

**" Take it easy, get some rest. It will all be fine."**

**I slowly gather my things and make my way back to the car. I felt like the guy in that movie walking my way down the greenmile to the electric chair. I talked to myself the whole way home about how I was going to tell Edward.**

**The walk to the front door from the car seemed like I was in slow motion. Edward opened the door. **

** " Hey, how did it go?"**

**"It went fine." an odd feeling came over me and it felt like a rage swept through my body. I couldnt stop myself and I yelled, "I'm pregnant!" I was so angry. I wanted to tell him right then that the baby was Jacobs but I saw the tears building in his eyes. He wrapped his arms around me and whispered,**

** "I knew we could do it."**

** I wanted to tell him so bad, I didnt want to ruin the moment. The guilt was eating me up inside. I decided I would tell him in the morning. That night I didnt sleep. I was so afraid. I had visions of Edward ripping my head from my body once I told him the truth. I saw images of Jacob with pieces of Edward hanging out of his mouth. Surely they both loved me enough not to kill each other. It wasnt just me we had to think about now. There was a baby inside of me that wasnt like my husband. At least for now it was human.**

** In the early morning hours I wrapped myself in blankets and walked out to the pier to watch the sun rise. It was cold, I was freezing. I deserved to freeze for the things I had done. Death would be easier for me. I didnt want to face the truth I was about to expose about myself. I wasnt mad for being pregnant with Jacobs baby. I was mad at what I had done. I was hurt that I was about to rip Edwards heart from his chest. I had to tell him. I praticed confessing on Stanley. He took it rather well. I only wished Edward could take it the same.**

** "What did you just say?" Jacob pulled himself up on the edge of the pier. I was shocked he had heard me. I started weeping. Tears running slowly down my face.**

** "I'm pregnant Jacob."**

**" Me?" he asked. I wasnt sure how he was going to react. I could see the tears welling up in his eyes." Bella? Is it mine?" I rose to my feet, now standing chest to face with Jacob. I looked up at him. I couldnt say yes. I didnt have to, I callapsed into his arms. He picked me up and started carrying me back toward the house, knowing he wasnt allowed to go in the yard. He didnt care, he carried me to the door. Edward opened it, peering at JAcob as if he was ready to pounce.**

** 'Arent you going to invite me in?" Jacob asked. I was to busy crying to speak. I wasnt able to control the whirl of emotions I was feeling. Ididnt want to tell Edward like this, but I didnt have a choice. So many thoughts were running through my mind. I knew there would be a fight. **

** "Yes Jacob, come in." Jacob entered our home still carrying me like a small child.**

** "Bella, why are you crying?" Edward asked,"Whats wrong?"**

**"She's pregnant. Did you know that?" Jacob asked**

** "Well of course I knew that." Edward responded.**

**"DId she tell you it was mine?"**

**Edward looked at me while still in Jacobs arms**

** "Is that true Bella?" His face went from anger to hurt. I cried harder. Jacob never put me down. I guess he thought that if my feet touched the floor I would run away. I wanted to run away. This is a problem i didnt want to face. Knowing with my lack of response that this baby was indeed Jacobs. Edward fell to the floor. I had never seen him this way. He held is head in his hands. I had never heard anyone cry in such a way. He sounded as if someone were tearing him apart. As though he was being tortured slowly while alive and couldnt escape.**

** "Put me down Jacob.' He sat me on the floor beside Edward. As I bent to comfort him, he sprang up toward Jacob. He threw Jacob across the living room into the kitchedn. When Jacob phased, the kitchen was destroyed.**

** "Stop! Please! Please." I knelt between them begging. "Please dont do this. Jacob. Please. Edward."**

** Edward looked down at me and in a flash he was gone. Jacob left behind him. They were going to fight, just not in my home. I didnt want them to fight. I knew the power in Jacob, but I knew the speed at which Edward could move. It would be hard for Jacob to get his hands on him, but once he did. I would be widowed. I didnt know what else to do so I dried my tears and grabbed a broom. I began to sweep the broken glass into a pile in the middle of the floor. In what seemed like hours before Jacob and Edward came back in the door. Together, neither had a scratch.**

** "Bella, we all need to talk." Jacob said.**

**We all went into the living room and sat down. I began to tear up.**

** "Stop crying," Jacob said," Its okay, we're going to work this out."**

**"I have to forgive you Bella."Edward said.' I love you, no matter what. Your all I have. I have no one else and I dont want to lose you. What happened between you and Jacob is over. Isnt it?' I knodded yes to confirm that in fact it was over. "So what we have to do now is take care of this baby." I ran to Edwards side. He held me in his arms as I cried. I love being in his arms.**

** "I'm so sorry." I whispered, " I'm a stupid woman."**

**" No" He hushed me and ran his fingers through my hair, kissing me on the head. **

** " I want to be a part of this childs life." Jacob piped in." I am the father."**

**" Of course Jacob, "Edward said, "Of course." Edward was so understanding and forgiving when it came to my transgressions it was almost sickening. How could he still love me so much? Why isnt he ripping my head off? Could I be this forgiving? That night after Jacob left. I found myself once again in edwards arms. I slept this night. Jasper assisted in keeping me calm so that I could rest. Jasper is so kind for not judging me and I love him more for that.**

**The months passed by so quickly. Our son, William Jacob Black, was born in the eleventh month on the twenty-eighth day. **

** Chapter 4**

_**Dysfunction Junction**_

** 16 years later**

** Dear Diary,**

** Jacob seems to be taking to fatherhood rather well. Will stays with him on the reservation during the school months and with me during the summers. Edward has taken his duties as a part time father pretty good. Its hard for them to find common ground in many situations, so they butt heads alot. Its hard for him to have one father be cheif of a indian tribe towering above most men in physical stature and then Edward who looks like a friend from school. Will is alot like Jacob. He's hot headed and relentless in a fight, but he's been around Edward long enough to adapt his compassion for 's usually laid back and fun loving uless someone is being hurt. He's also like me in the way that he is torn between which father to show his love to. He doesnt want to disappoint either of them. For the most part we have a happy dysfunctional family unit. Will spends his holidays with Edward and I at Cullens'. Will loves the fact he's the only grandchild. Jasper says," He's spoiled rotten." Will really looks up to Jasper for the fact him and Edward take him everywhere they go. He's picked up alot of Jaspers southern charm. He uses phrases like," Happier than a dead pig in the sunshine' and says things like honey and darlin. He spends alot of time with Sam when he's at the reservation. Jacob and Sam have taught Will little things men need to know like how to change the oil in my car. That comes in handy. I'm a little older now and I just dont feel like it. I'm so happy William has these great men to look up to. He's almost sixteen now and Jacob is anxious to see if his legacy will be passed on to Will. He's already gone through puberty but hasnt had the any signs of fever. Jacob thinks it would be a good idea to have Carlisle do some blood work on Will to see if he has the extra chromosone. We go first thing in the morning. So we'll see! **

** Bella**

** "Wake up boy!" Jasper yells grabbing Will by the chest. He shakes him slightly to give him a startle.**

**" Jesus Jasper! You scared the crap out of me."**

** "Dont say Jesus, just get ready. You moms waitin downstairs."**

**"Yes sir, I'll be down in a minute." Jasper waits in the doorway to insure Will gets out of bed." Can I get some privacy Unc, gah lee." Jasper laughs'**

** "I reckon so." Jasper turns to walk away. Will stops him.**

**" Hey Jazz. Do you think Dad would give me some money for the new Full Metal box set?"**

** " Get your clothes on boy and we'll ask him."**

**"Okay okay" **

** Will is putting on his jacket running down the stairs. Edward yells,**

** "Will dont run you might.." Will misses the last step on the way down and face plants on the hardwood floor." Fall" helping Will up off the floor I hear Edward telling him." Your just like your mother." I laugh to myself because its true. **

** "Come on guys. We're gonna be late and your grandfathers waiting on us." I say while trying to wrangle them to the car.**

** "Shotgun!" Jasper yells. Edward laughs,**

**"You suck." Will replies.**

** "Dont say suck in front of your mom WIll." Edward remarks," Lets be gentlemen here."**

** "Yes sir, Sorry mom," He kisses me on the cheek.**

**" Its okay. Just get in the car."**

** As we're driving down the road on our way to Carlisles, Will turns off the radio.**

** "Mom. Can I ask you a question?'**

**" What is it baby?" I ask**

** "why didnt you ask dad to change you into a vampire?"**

**"Edward, you want to take this one?" . Edwards eyes widen. **

**"Well. I didnt change your mother because she got pregnant with you. It was too late then."**

** "Cant you change her now?" Will asks. Its obvious now that Edward is uncomfortable with Wills' interrogation.**

** "Oh look, we're here!" Jasper pipes up from the front.**

**We pull into the driveway to find Carlisle waiting for us at the door. Will jumps out of the car before we hardly get stopped. He loves it here. Carlisle and Esme, popularly known as Grandma and Granpa, took Will to a Maroon Five Reunion concert for his sixteenth birthday. They let him choose between a concert or a car. He chose the concert, told them he could run wherever he needed to go he was faster. He was just happy to get out of Forks for a weekend.**

**We all sat in the living room while Carlisle took Will upstairs to do his bloodwork. I sat in the chair to catch up on some much needed rest. Keeping up with a sixteen year old is harder than I thought. I think back on how Charlie must have felt putting up with me. Edward and Jasper play a game of chess while we wait. In only a few minutes they came back down.**

** "I'll take this blood to the hospital tonight and examine it myself. Bella? Are you alright?" Carlisle asks.**

** "Yes carlisle, I'm alright. My age is catching up with me." I reply.**

**I gather Edward and Will and manage to get them back to the car. **

** "Dad, can you let me out?" Will asks.**

**"Sure son, if your going to your Dads tell him that Moms making lasagna tonight he's more than welcome to come."**

** " Are you sure youdont want us to take you to Dads honey?" I ask**

**"No mom. I'll run"**

** Will gets out of the car and proceeds to jog down the wet streets. Edward looks at me and shakes his head with a smirk on his face.**

** "What is it?" I ask him.**

**"Nothing." he replies." He looks so much like Jacob. Its like reliving the past all over again."**

** I giggle," Maybe for you, but some us are turning fifty soon."**

**"He's right ya know? I should have changed you when you first asked me to."**

** "I'm glad you didnt Edward. I wouldnt have Will if you had."**

**"So true Bella. So very true. I'm sorry." **

** " Sorry for what?"**

**" I'm sorry Ididnt change you. I'm sorry that I drove you into Jacobs arms."**

** "You didnt drive me into Jacobs arms Edward. I love him too. I just love you in a different way. I gave you the vow til death do us part. Except this way, you'll actually get to see it."**

** He puts the car in drive and we head home. You could cut the silence with a knife. I've upset him. The truth is sometimes hard to hear. Especially for Edward, knowing if he had changed me none of this would have happened.**

**It was getting close to midnight and Will wasnt home. I was worried something may have happened to him. **

** "Edward, go look for Will. I'm getting worried, I'll call Jacob and ask if he's left yet."**

** As i'm dialing Jacobs number, my cell phone begins to ring.**

**"Hello."**

** " Hey Bella, its Carlisle. I've got Williams bloodwork back."**

**My heart starts to pound. Questions and scenarios start zooming through my head like a stock car race. I'm on the verge of tears already.**

** "Well? Carlisle, what do they say?"**

**" He's human Bella. He doesnt have the extra chromosone like Jacob. He isnt a shape shifter. He's human."**

** " Thank you Carlisle, I have to go." I quickly hang up the phone and burst into tears. I now have to tell Jacob his legacy will not be passed down to his son. He has been waiting so patiently for Will to make the change. Jacob is cheif and his own son isnt one of his kind. Edward bursts through the front door**

** "Found him!" I nearly jumped out of my skin.**

**"Where was he? Is he alright?" I ran to Edwards side.**

**' Yes Bella he's fine. He's going to stay the night with Jacob. I told him it was okay. Whats wrong? Was that wrong?" he asked.**

** " Oh no Edward, its fine. Its just that, Will doesnt have the extra chromosone. He's human." Edward closes the front door. He walks into the dining room and sits down at the table.**

** " Have you told JAcob?"**

**" Well no, I just got off the phone with Carlisle."**

** "When are you going to tell him?"**

**" Tomorrow, when he brings Will back home."**

**"Of course Will doesnt know anything about the legacy of his tribe. For all he knows its legend." Edward says."Right?"**

** "Thats right" I say." Lets go to bed." **

**The house was so quiet. It hadnt been that silent in years. I nestled into Edwards arms and closed my eyes. I could feel him running his hands through my hair, kissing me so soft on my head.**

**"Goodnight my Bella." **

** I got up the next day determined to tell Jacob what was going on and that Will would not be joining the pack. When I got downstairs Jacob was already there.**

** "Goodmorning sunshine." He said with a smirk.**

**"Where's Will?"**

** "He's down on the pier with SAm and Jasper fishing."**

**"Really?" I was surprised." Where's Edward?"**

** He laughed and said, " Fishing."**

**I shrugged my shoulders and fixed me a cup of coffee. The years Jacob and Edward had been slightly forced to spend together gave them each an understanding that both men wanted to do what was best for me. The years made them close, for Wills' sake. They got along. sometimes Jacob came over just to hang out. At first, it was a little weird, but I got used to it. It pleased me to see Will so happy. I walked over and sat down beside Jacob. " I have to tell you something Jacob."**

** " Oh no, what is it?"**

**" Will is human."**

** "What? Human?"**

**"Yes Jacob. Human, he isnt going to change."**

** " Are you kidding me right now? Say your joking."**

**" NO. I'm not kidding. Carlisle called me last night and told me that his bloodwork was to say the least, normal."**

** " Bella, you do realise this has happened only once before that I know of. We have to go talk to my father. Maybe he can tell us more about why this is happening."**

** " Well... go?"**

**"Oh no, you're coming with me. We can go right now and no one would even know we were gone. Come on."**

** I took Jacob by the hand and followed him through the trees. I had no idea where we were but he seemed to know exactly where we were going. It seemed like forever when we finally got to La Push.**

**Jacob brought me to the home of his father, Billy Black. Jacob told him what we had found out about Will. He told us that it only happens every fifty years. There is a catalog of bloodlines past chiefs have kept to ensure that there was no blood from outside the tribe. Until me, it hadnt happened for fifty years. **

** " Whats all this mean?" I asked.**

**" It means that he cant' be chief. It means Bella. That once my time as chief is over one of Sams children will take over as head of the tribe."**

** " JAcob, I'm so sorry."**

**" It isnt all your fault. I made the choice that day to sleep with you. I was in love with you back then. I wasnt expecting you to have a baby either but you did." **

** Jacob and Edward were able to be friends after Jacob imprinted on a girl from the next town. She and Jacob have their own family. She knows about Jacob and I. She also knows that Jacob cant do anything to comprimise that. He loves her with all his being. She loves him to and treats will just like one of their other children. They had daughters, no sons. I have Jacobs only son. **

** " Let's go Bella, Edwards probably shitting a brick."**

**" Okay. Lets. Can we drive this time? My fifty year old feet hurt."**

** " Your not fifty yet, Miss. Daisy." He laughed once again at his own clever remarks.**

** WE got into his car and he took me home. **

**Dear Diary,**

** Since Jacob and I found out that our son was human, we enrolled him into a public school. He graduated from high school to attend The University of Washington in Seatle. He graduated with a degree in medicine. He wanted to become a doctor just like his grandfather. Isnt that sweet? He called last week to tell me he met a girl. Lucy Johnson. He says there pretty serious and he is planning on purposing to her when they come and visit this spring. I told him thirty was creeping up on him, if he wanted a family he better get move on things. I turned sixty- eight my last birthday. My skin has wrinkled so much. I dont even recognise the girl I was when I look at pictures. Of course its hard for me to look at myself when Edward looks just as young as the day we met. I suffered a small stroke last fall that has left me paralized on the left side. Good thing I'm right handed. Edward does all he can to help me. Rosalie has proven herself useful by helping Edward around the house. She cooks my meals and makes sure things stay neat around here. Carlisle says if I keep taking the therapy it wont be long until I can walk again. I dont like therapy. I want to be left alone to enjoy the last few years I have left. I dont mean to sound morbid diary, but this is something I have to get off my chest. Jacob still comes by to visit me everyday. He's no spring chicken himself. He's still as strong and handsome as ever. His wife made me a quilt out of Charlies old clothes. After he passed away, I felt so alone. So the blanket makes me think of him and the memories we had together. The cancer took him faster than expected. Carlisle said there wasnt much that could be done. Charlie was stubborn. He had waited too long about going to the doctor. Thats neither here nor there now. I never imagined in all my life Edward and Jacob pulling together the way they did to take care of me. Jasper and Alice moved to Seattle to keep a closer eye on William for me. So Jacob is really the only man around here that Edward has to talk to. He doesnt get out much. Edward reads to me at the pier. My favorite place. Jacobs here to take me down there now. We're going to have a picnic on the pier. I love these men. I reflect back on my life and ask myself what I may have done differently and nothing comes to mind. My life, though I made mistakes, was perfect. I couldnt have asked for anything better. Jacob is here to take me down now. I dont know what I would do without him. Without Edward. I love Edward more than anything in this world. I would trade a million sunsets if I could stay here with him. This body has failed me and I wouldnt be much for him to look at. I wouldnt be much of a lover to him. After all these years, he's never left me. He's never left my side. I love him dearly. sometimes I think thats why I'm still around. why I've held on to this life so long. Through the trials and sickness. I've held on for him, my Edward. There are no words that I can think of that could express the way I feel for him. He is my love, til death do us part.**

** Bella**

** Chapter 6**

**Dear Diary,**

** I didnt realise how frail life is until now. I have never lost anyone in my life and I feel so alone. I only found out three years ago that my father was a werewolf. Until today, I felt betrayed. Sometimes events in our lives take place that are bigger than us. The past three days occurances have been more important to me. The loss I feel inside my heart is almost unbearable. I know the people that are in my life love me but its not the same. I dont know that I can make it. I'm writing this as an ending to the journal I started reading over three days ago. It seems to be helping me so far, getting all of these emotions out of my system. Today we buried Edward. We thought that with Jacobs age, he couldnt phase. Sam said that when Edward attacked Jacob, he had never seen an old man phase so quickly. Sam said it only took minutes. Edward lunged at Jacob fangs out. When jacob fell off the pier down to the beach. He jumped the pier with claws out. Sam said Edward didnt even put up a fight. Jacob put his jaws around Edwards neck and bit through him like he didnt have a grown man in his teeth. As I was running down to the pier, Sam was running up to stop me. I got close enough to look into Edwards eyes. It was strange that in the moments before my father ended his life there was hope in his eyes. It was like he knew where he was going when he died and who would be waiting on him when he got there. I heard him say I love you just before Jacob clenched his jaws. I callapsed to the ground at that moment and cried out for I had just seen my father killed. Killed by my father. Sam told me Edward begged for Dad to kill him. He saw him get on his knees and plead with him. Dad refused. So Edward attcked him knocking him backward off the pier. Dad knew then that the task Edward was asking of him was not of selfishness, but of pain. He was hurting and needed to be released. I was so upset I didnt see mother sitting in her wheelchair on the pier. I thought to myself, she must have saw the whole thing. I ran down to the end of the dock to be by her side and let her know I was there and it was all going to be alright. When I got to her, I seen why Edward was so determined to die. My mother had died. She had passed away on the pier moments before I witnessed Edwards death. She passed away at sunset, Jacob and Edward at her side. My heart stopped beating for what seemed like an eternity as I held her lifeless hand in mine. I didnt make a sound. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close to my heart with a pain that felt like my heart was ripping through my chest. I understand why Edward wanted to die. My Dad came down to the pier and I callapsed in his arms like I had so many times when I was little and scrapped my knee. As always he was there to carry me, when I couldnt carry myself. We will always miss my mother. Her beauty and her grace, even the way she tripped and rolled down the hill that one time on my twelvth birthday. She was only herself. She loved me with all of her heart. I know that Mom and Edward are somewhere together in the great beyond. Drawing pictures in the sand. Together Forever- Edward and Bella. **

** William**


End file.
